My Week

I was reading Geek Girl's post. It was a great breakdown of her week. I read it and thought, wow, she had a week of weeks I think. Mine, pretty boring. Really boring. Then, I realized, maybe it wasn't so boring.
Monday was a good start for the week. My company is growing. This means I need a Consultant. I need someone who has already grown a couple of businesses to help me out. So, my partner and me met with this guy who believes he can help us. It's not the growing that worries me. It's the bleeding of profits. I want to be sure that the growth isn't hurting our ability to grow financially.
Monday night, I went to Yoga. Yes, yoga. Again. I loved the class. Loved the workout. (is yoga considered a workout?) I don't know if all Yogi's do this or not, but ours has you lie down and relax at the end of class. Breathe and purge sort of thing. She turns the lights out, lights a candle or two and starts telling you to clear your mind, breathe, fall into nothing. You get the picture right? I actually hear a couple of short snores. Yes. One or two folks were really listening to her, or not, based on your perception. Me, well I tried. I did. I couldn't get comfortable. Something about lying on the hard floor (yoga mat did not help so much) trying to relax. I kept tossing and turning. Just trying to find a comfortable position. Then, when the snoring started, I felt the giggles coming on. Not to mention, I was still giggling over the little fart that slipped out when I did the splits on the floor. Come on, farts are funny. Even in yoga class. I Could not clear my mind. The whole place was dark and sort of quiet. Except for the snoring, the yogi talking softly, a few other heavy breathers and me. Giggling. Quietly. Trying not to. That made it even funnier. I am not sure I am going to be allowed back in to yoga.
On Tuesday I fought off a serial killer, rapist. Single handedly. With a knife. He had a gun. This is how it unfolded...
Tuesday we had our weekly meeting at work. Had a contractor come in and give us information on his business and talk about our building a professional partnership with him. Only one problem. One of my colleagues didn't show up. She didn't call, she wasn't answering her home or cell phone either. She would have called if she were able. That's her. That's what she does. My colleague is also one of my dear friends, lets call her DAWN. At about 1:30pm I finally track down DAWN'S sister. It took me about 30 minutes to find her. I only knew the sister's first name and I only knew she worked for an office supply company. So, I start dialing the yellow pages. A few companies later, I hit the right one. I talk to DAWN's sister (who also happens to live with DAWN). Sis has also been unable to reach DAWN. So, I get in my car and head over to DAWN's house. My other 3 colleagues are all just as worried as I am. They asked me to call upon my arrival and to keep them posted on what's happening.
On the way to her house I begin to think of what might have happened. What if she was in a bad wreck on the way to work. Well, if her car wasn't at home, we'd call the FL HP and see what we could find out. At which point we would also start checking with the hospitals. My thoughts though, lets see first if she is home.
To give you a little background, my friend is newly single. She is back out on the dating scene. I knew she was going out to dinner Monday night with some friends. I thought, what if she met someone. What if in her trusting ways (she trusts everyone) she maybe, just maybe met someone and brought him home. You know, to watch a movie or something. Well, what if Mr.Friendly turned out to be Ted Bundy JR. For crying out loud!! What if Mr. Friendly turned out to have a fond admiration for The Green River Killer. You see where this is going don't you? My fears aren't baseless though. It just happens that years ago a friend of mine, one of my closest dearest friends, was kidnapped, beaten, raped, stabbed, and left for dead in her van as the attacker set her van on fire. The attacker left, my friend didn't die. She survived, barely. You can imagine what was going on in my head at this point.
When I arrive at DAWN's neighborhood, she doesn't answer the call from the gate. I get out of my car and flag down a neighbor who was leaving, briefly explained I have a friend who I am worried about, answered her questions of who and where, she let me in the gate. When I pull into the driveway, there is a strange car parked there. It's about 2pm now. I ring the doorbell, knock loudly, shout, pound. Nothing. Nada. No one. Shit. Shit. Shit. I walk around to the back of the house because I can knock on the door to her bedroom(in FL we all have doors from the master to the outside). I knock and shout. Nothing. No response. DAWN is the kind of person who would come to the window. Even if she was naked. No DAWN. I look down at the patio table and there is a knife. I big knife. Swear, it's true. I couldn't make it up.
From where I am standing I can pretty much see into every room in the house. Except the bedroom, the blinds are all closed tight. As I am looking into the kitchen I notice DAWN's purse is there. I also see many of it's contents laying out on the kitchen Island. WTF? That's not normal. Ladies, how many of us pour our purses out at night? Things are not looking good. I pick up the knife. The knife looks like something DAWN's brother might have sent from Abu Dhabi. It's in it's sheath. Removing it from it's cover I note that it is very sharp and curved and should be easy enough to handle. All three of the back doors are locked . I couldn't get any of them open. I walk back to the front of the house. The mystery car is still in the driveway. From the front door I can see through to the back patio. The house is a very open floor plan with lots of windows. I start to look for a key. As I reach up above the door I step on the door mat and hear a tiny "chink" under the mat. Sounded like metal against cement. I lift the mat. Can you believe this? There is a key. To the front door. Who does that?!?! See what I mean about trusting? DAWN is trusting. Before I enter, I call the studio and tell them what's going on and that I am going into the house.
When I enter the house, my heart starts pounding. The sound is loud in my ears too. The house is quiet and dark except for the light coming in through the windows. I am yelling quite loudly now. No answer. There is DAWN's wallet, open, her driver's license is there, her social security card is out, on the island. Not right. A glass is sitting in the middle of a paper plate on the island. It still has coke in it and a few ice cubes. I am standing in the center of the house here. The answering machine has 11 calls on it. I turn back to the front door, make sure it is unlocked, leave my keys by the door in case I have to run. I didn't want to drop my keys and fumble to pick them up. In my mind, I am actually pretty calm. Oh, BTW, I am wielding the knife. A line from a movie pops into my head - something about bringing a knife to a gun fight. But, that's all I have. I just happened to forget my pistola at home today. Dammit. I turn towards the closed bedroom door.
Seriously worried that I could be out gunned here I actually reach across the door from behind a small wall to open it. Pushing it in as I shield myself behind the little outcrop of drywall. I ease my head around the corner after a 15 or 20 second delay. The bedroom is pitch dark. Instead of placing my body in the door I reach out to flip the light on with the knife. The bed is messed up but no one is in it. No blood. That's a good sign. My brain is very calm. I cross over and go into the bedroom. There is no body on the floor either. I turn to the bathroom. Lights are out. My next thought is I need to check the shower. I turn so that my back is on the wall opposite the bathroom mirror. This way, no one can come up from behind and surprise me. I turn on the lights, again using the knife. I am about to ease my way into the center of the bathroom to look in the shower and I hear a voice. It's sort of muffled. The voice says "I'm in the bathroom". (this means water closet aka toilet). Then the toilet flushes.
Through all of this, DAWN had been sitting on the John with a bad case of diarrhea. Yes. The cha cha chas. So -I stabbed her.
No, I didn't stab her. But, I thought about it. Briefly, for a millisecond. I put the knife back in it's case and keep it close by.
Turns out, DAWN did try to reach me that morning. She was really sick and wasn't going to make it. The message never came through on my phone. Thanks for the great service there VERIZON. The calm left my body and I began to shake, uncontrollably. Then I started to cry. Then I stabbed DAWN. Okay, again, I didn't stab her. In real life. In my mind though...
I had to call the studio and tell them everything was okay and that they could call the state troopers and tell them never mind. Then, I got in the bed and laid there for a bit to let my heart rate come back down. Dawn and I start to laugh. It was a sick, you are crazy, demented laugh. I asked her "Who's car is that in the driveway?" She asks, "what car?" I describe it. Turns out it belongs to her sister's boyfriend. He was in the house the entire time. He never bothered to answer my calling out or my knocks and poundings on the door. I yelled "HELLO" and "DAWN!!!" more times than I can count when I entered the house. We went out to the kitchen, Dawn checks and the coward's car is gone. Without a word.
A few minutes later I realized I was STARVING. Not just hungry, but so hungry I would gnaw off anyone's hand that managed to find it's way between my mouth and my food, hungry. We go for Chinese. After eating my little asian snack, my phone beeps. There's Dawn's message saying she won't be in to work today. It's 4:50pm the message is tagged at 9:24 AM. VERIZON SUCKS!!! Just sayin'.
When I arrive home I tell the story to Bigun. He was none too pleased with me. He was very unhappy with the fact that I entered a home believing there might be a killer inside...he was right. But. What are friends for? We kill killers and bury ex's, right?
Wednesday was uneventful.
Thursday, Betty Lou got some new shoes and an adjustment. Bigun and I went to the beach while BettyLou was getting her makeover.
Friday, Busy day of meetings and appointments. Today should be quiet and tomorrow is St.Anthony's
That was my week. Pretty boring, I know.