Day 63: 01/07/2017
Forgiveness. In my heart of hearts I know the power of forgiveness and I believe it is essential to let go of anger in order to move forward in life. I had reached a point where the anger had left me and all I felt was pity. My pity came from forgiveness and sympathy. It is easier to forgive when you believe a person doesn't know any different. This past week my lesson seems to be learning how to forgive when a person does know better yet continues to move forward with intentionally cruel and abusive behavior. How do I find forgiveness for the kind of person who uses another's grief to further hurt and try to tear down a person mourning the loss of her husband?
The answer to forgiveness in light of blatant, purposeful cruelty has been an elusive thing for me this past week. The surge of anger I felt caught me by surprise. The anger caught me by surprise because I believed completely that I had let it go and had fully embraced forgiveness. It turns out, I was mistaken. Perhaps I am on the path back to forgiveness, because today what I feel is immense sadness.
Maybe all I needed was to voice how angry I was. Yesterday I let out the dark, suffocating emotion that I could only label as hatred. Hatred for the violation of Marc's memory and the violation of the love he had for people he called family. Today there is only sadness. Maybe the sadness is the precursor to forgiveness.
Forgiveness. In my heart of hearts I know the power of forgiveness and I believe it is essential to let go of anger in order to move forward in life. I had reached a point where the anger had left me and all I felt was pity. My pity came from forgiveness and sympathy. It is easier to forgive when you believe a person doesn't know any different. This past week my lesson seems to be learning how to forgive when a person does know better yet continues to move forward with intentionally cruel and abusive behavior. How do I find forgiveness for the kind of person who uses another's grief to further hurt and try to tear down a person mourning the loss of her husband?
The answer to forgiveness in light of blatant, purposeful cruelty has been an elusive thing for me this past week. The surge of anger I felt caught me by surprise. The anger caught me by surprise because I believed completely that I had let it go and had fully embraced forgiveness. It turns out, I was mistaken. Perhaps I am on the path back to forgiveness, because today what I feel is immense sadness.
Maybe all I needed was to voice how angry I was. Yesterday I let out the dark, suffocating emotion that I could only label as hatred. Hatred for the violation of Marc's memory and the violation of the love he had for people he called family. Today there is only sadness. Maybe the sadness is the precursor to forgiveness.
1 comment:
Amazingly shared in another example of your grace and dignity. My heart goes out to you and I pray for the soul of anyone that uses this tragic thing as a weapon against another.
Continue to feel my friend, whatever emotion touches you. Because the ultimate price would be to feel absolutely nothing. Some unfortunate people who are unable to love would like to steal all emotion from those filled with love and light.
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