Shredding of The List

And on the 6th day, I took a nap. A very long nap and I'm pretty sure I might have, possibly, probably, snored. It was that wonderful of a nap. Don't be hatin', I'll try not to rub it in too much.

When I began this 30 day blog journey I thought it would be enjoyable to begin a blog journey of interesting topics. After yesterday's topic I find myself somewhat disenchanted with the predetermined topics of the "30 day- A Post A Day- Blog Challenge". No idea what I will be writing about for the next 24 days but I'll do my best to keep it interesting.








In about 30 minutes it will be tomorrow. For now, I'm going to get back to continuing that nap I was talking about earlier. Tomorrow is going to be fantastic, the Aquarium is on the list of things to do for us. I can't wait!!

Have a great night y'all!! xoxo

EX-cuse You?

Day 5 ...things I want to say to an Ex? Nothing. If we've remained friends through the years, nothing needs to be said. If we are no longer friends, there is nothing to say.

Stupidest damn blog topic - WTF?!? If there is going to be a 30 day challenge couldn't they, at the very least, make the topics somewhat interesting? FFS.

I'm going to go get a drink.

Ciao y'all....stay tuned for tomorrow's 30 Day Challenge Topic. I'm afraid to see what it will be.

Thank you for stopping by and feel free to leave a comment. xoxo 

The Inferno

Some days, I really should stay home. Not so much to make myself feel better or because I'm not up for the day. It's more for other people's protection. There are days in which I think I need to protect others from me and my impatience. Yesterday, I nearly took some one's head off and they did nothing whatsoever to deserve it. Of course, I apologized almost instantly. They were faultless in my lashing out.

My hormones are going NUTS these days and I never know if I'm going to have a good day or a day filled with near heat stroke flashes of inferno-like body temps. It feels like my brain is going to explode. It passes almost as quickly as it arrives but man, if anyone tries to talk to me, or reason with me, during one of my near Spontaneous Human Combustion moments look out!!!

This shit sucks. Still, I recognize when these days are about to occur but I try to move forward anyway. For me, there are moments that staying civil is nearly impossible. It is like I'm watching someone else living in my body! I can sense what is about to happen but I am powerless to stop it. WTF?! Thankfully, the crazy bitch moments are not frequent and I can usually get them under control but it sure would be nice if I could lasso them in before the ugly is rearing it's spiny head.


So, if you happen to pass me on the street or bump into me in the store and my eyes look glazed, and my skin is moist with tiny droplets of sweat, run. Run away as fast as you can, you don't want to get caught up in my fury and end up like the people in Firestarter after Drew Barrymore finished frying them to death. Although, I will apologize after, if you're still breathing.


Love ya. Mean it.

Once Again - Anonymous

We here in the Land Of Blog all know about the cowardly types who post negative and/or foul messages on ours or our friends' blog posts. Well, the world of cowards is not limited to your posts or mine. Here is a band of Liberal Cowards who think that breaking the LAW is acceptable and they believe because they remain "Anonymous" they are untouchable.
I DESPISE cowards. Regardless of their political affiliation. Conservative or Liberal. Hold your head up if you are willing to shred another person either personally or politically. Anonymous people are despicable wastes of good oxygen.
I read this post this morning and I am sharing it with you- NOT as a political statement but rather as a statement to just how low some people are willing to go to try and "win". Win with honor for crying out loud. Otherwise, take your sniveling, "I am a victim" attitude and slink back into the sewage you crawled out of.

EDIT: I am adding this little addition to my original post because I did not expound enough on why I posted this article.
Running for public office does not mean that you are no longer protected by this countries laws. This piece of crap group is NOT entitled to violate ANYONE's personal rights as an AMERICAN CITIZEN. IT IS NOT OKAY. Without exception. Hands down, no way, no how, not today, not tomorrow and not yesterday. NEVER. This doesNOT fall under the mistaken idea that being a public figure exempts you from a private, personal life. In additon, there are many, many times that government officials HAVE to communicate outside of their "govt network" because of the restrictions and requirements used for the internet highway the govt provides. This issue is NOT about what was exchanged between Palin or anyone else. It is about the violation of her "certain inalienable" RIGHTS. SHE IS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN!!!!! Now, lets pretend just for a moment, that you are the subject of this disgusting display of cowardice. Lets pretend that someone hacked into your life. They stole everything they could get their hands on and broadcast it to the entire world. I'll pretend that it's okay...

Left Wing Group Hacks Palin's EmailBy Caleb HoweSep 17th 2008 3:30PM

Filed Under:eBreaking News, 2008 President, Scandal, Media, Sarah Palin

The ill-defined protest "group" known as Anonymous, famous both for their campaign against Scientology and their strange protest activities, has hacked Gov. Sarah Palin's private email account and posted some of the contents online.

Internet "griefing" is a key component of the activities of Anonymous, and this is no exception. The full text of two private emails, as well as the screenshot of Palin's inbox and some of her family photos were added to the site wikileaks. The purported reasoning is that they are blowing the whistle on Palin using private email addresses for public business. However, as pointed out at Network World, the two example emails do not support the assertion, as they involve political material not permissible for use with a government email address.

Anonymous may be unaware, but elected officials not only may use private email addresses to correspond with other public officials, they actually must if it is material deemed not appropriate. For example, if Nancy Pelosi wanted to send the latest Michael Moore video to Howard Dean, she'd have to use her yahoo email address to do it, not her house email. So a bunch of addresses of people like Arnold Schwarzenegger showing on the list is evidence of nil.
The face of the controversy could change as the contents of the remainder of the emails are parsed ad nauseum by the online left, as you know they will. The current takeaway is clear: as the last two weeks have shown, the online left and their traditional media enablers will stop at nothing, not even the law, in their bloodthirsty quest to tear Gov. Sarah Palin limb from limb. It will be instructive to see who, if anyone, can be bothered to condemn this hack job.

UPDATE: The McCain campaign has issued a statement: "This is a shocking invasion of the Governor's privacy and a violation of law. The matter has been turned over to the appropriate authorities and we hope that anyone in possession of these emails will destroy them. We will have no further comment."

It is amusing to see, this week, a half-hearted attempt by the DNC and media outlets to paint the McCain campaign as playing dirty. Obama's religiously devoted followers, including on blogs and in the press, have been doing his dirty work for months, and much dirtier than the McCain campaign could ever hope to stoop to. It's a neat trick to try and avoid getting Obama's hands dirty, and I recall a lot of people earlier this year whining that surrogates were doing McCain's dirty work for him. Yet the most significant Democrat blog online openly admits to doing so on behalf of Obama.

The number of lines willing to be crossed in the Palin witch-hunt the last few weeks continues to grow. From spreading rumors about her children to questioning her as a mother ... hacking her private email account and posting her private family photos online fits in perfectly. I have no doubt we'll soon hear a defense of the importance of this illegal activity to the political process. Steal personal email, don't steal press release prayers. Claim Palin's children are fair game because they are with in her public now and then, claim Michelle Obama is not fair game despite being a speech-making, event-hosting part of the campaign.

Anonymous may be anonymous, but their tactics are as plain as day. It's Obama Supporter 101. Do as he wants, not as he pretends not to do. Anonymous broke the law, but they kept the spirit of the left perfectly intact.

Update: Tonight, Unusable Signal is live on the air at 11pm. Unusable Signal is the number one progressive/liberal talk show at blogtalkradio, and I cohost on Fridays and Saturdays. Tonight it will be hosted by Tom Fitzsimmons and AOL's Tommy Christopher. I'll be calling in and taking questions as well. I'm persuadable on the definition of Anonymous as left wing.

If you are not as furious as I am about how this person's Rights as an American Citizen have been violated, maybe we as a country should be re-examining why we even BOTHER to elect our officials. From now on, let's just draw straws because after all, if you don't care about the flagrant violation of a fellow citizen's rights, why bother.

Open Up My Head and Let me Out

I am sure someone out there knows what I am talking about. I am pooped. Exhausted. Slam Tired. When does it end?

This year has been a crazy year for me. Not a bad year, just tons going on. The bad...well, it could be worse and it's not. The good has far outweighed any bad. I just feel as though I haven't had any real down time. Time to sit in quietude and let my thoughts gather a little dust. You know the dust. That dust that I am supposed to be wiping off of the TV and it's cabinet. The dust that covers the bathtubs in both guest rooms. The dust that accumulates everywhere you tend to look. When the hell does dust show up any way? Who opened the door and invited it in? Wasn't me. Hell no, I would have slammed the door square in it's face, no hesitation, no remorse. Unless of course it wanted to find refuge in my brain for 10 days...

I have filled my brain with quite a number of literary works this past year. Branched out with a couple of new authors. Totally dig it when I find a new author that I like. Call me a bit of a snob about reading a good yarn. When reading a story, I like a nice tight, cohesive story. No "whoops" allowed. I mean, come on, don't try to slip crap in the story that you(the author) have already discredited in a previous chapter. What the hell? Am I stoopid too? Tired and stoopid, that's me. Yes, I know stupid is spelled incorrectly, just trying to drive home a point.

Okay - I'm done D.U.N. done. No more moaning. Good books, love them I can usually devour 2 or 3 a week. Anyone have some interesting fodder for the brain to recommend? I am currently not reading any self help or DIY books. Hold those recommendations for later times. Historical reference style books, also off the list. Give me witty, cleverly written, "this has absolutely no societal connotations whatsoever". Show me some good dark mystery or sci-fi or scary stuff or mind benders. I have read everything out there by S.King, D. Koontz, A.Rice, N.Demille, T.Clancy, Grisham, Chrichton, and many others. Show me someone new who has the ability to spin a good yarn.

This photo has absolutely NOTHING to do with my post - It's just a freakin' awesome shot. Go here to see more of Todd Gustafson's work.

No One Ever Died Over a Sofa

Until this past Wednesday.

"No one ever died over a sofa." That's what I say to my clients when they become irrationally upset over the time it takes to complete the design of their home. Unless you have born witness to the 2 women strangling each other in the furniture store over the very last CLEARANCE sofa (in red), what I say is pretty accurate. I mean, come on, in the scheme of all things real and every day, is a sofa that big of a deal? No. Lets be realistic here.

You know, the sofa doesn't translate into the literal sofa - well, sometimes it does- I use it to translate into all things for the home. Most of you know what I do for a living, I am a professional Home Interior Specialist. I come in, listen long and hard and then translate all of the information given to me by the client into a stunning, yet functional Home Design. PHEW!!! That was a lot of words!! Oftentimes this includes remodels and new construction. Right now I am working on a home that is a million plus home out in the country. It sits on a ranch. The family breeds some of the most sought after cattle in the country. Seriously. Super nice people too. Until the house came along. What is it about building a home that turns us all into deranged, border line axe murderers?

This couple I am referring to, awesome couple. I see the wife several times a week and talk to her several times a day. Every day. Starting at about 8 am every morning. Let me start closer to the beginning...

When I was brought on board the house was completely enclosed and all of the studs were in place. The flooring was already chosen as was the cabinetry to be installed in the kitchen. There were some pretty crazy ideas that were going to be put into effect. Ideas that caused me to raise an eyebrow and respond "Oh." What else can one say in such a circumstance? Yes, they were hiring me to help them create a beautiful home and given my druthers, I rather they NOT be doing some of the things they were planning. But, they didn't hire me to dash their dreams into cinder. So. You take these slightly insane ideas and as a Designer you find a way to actually make them good, solid, beautiful ideas. A for effort here?

The wife and I have hit it off immediately. We are on the same page so to speak. All of the time. We were commanded with the interior and the husband was going to take care of the structural decisions. Right. The wife and I have been thwarted by the husband at every turn. After things have been ordered. Custom things. Things that cannot be sent back. Things that have been made for them, exclusively. Thing is, I don't discover the thwarting until I arrive at the home and find NOTHING is where it should be and decisions on design were made without my knowledge. You see, if you change one thing, most often, nothing else works. A great design is defined by it's flow. It's ability to fit together like a puzzle. Well, throw one piece of the puzzle in the trash, you are screwed. SCREWED. Did I say that loudly enough?

So, I arrive out to the house this past Wednesday. The Hubby is there. As he is at the start of every day. It's fine, I don't dislike him, really. I get the fact that this is their dream home and he wants it to be perfect. So he says. He says perfect then does something that indicates it isn't about perfection but about speed. How fast can we get this house done? This house was started in January of this year. The builder projected 12 months for completion. In Florida, that is about right. If you want it done right. Keep in mind, this house is on undeveloped property and there were a lot of initials that needed to be done before they started laying the foundation, etc. I think the foundation went in early February. Any way, moving along.

I had specified a certain cap for the shower wall in the Master Bath. You know, the stone/ tile/ cap that the shower glass sits on. Well, this is about chest high and I wanted the same onyx to be used there that were are using for the counter tops. Beautiful, great tie in. Well, Hubby doesn't want to wait 2 weeks for that to happen. 2 weeks. In a Million plus home. 2 weeks. Keep in mind, this sounds trivial to most of you, I'm sure. However, if you are building a home of this stature, wouldn't you want even the small details to be perfect? Well, this is not a BIG detail but it isn't small either. It would tie the bathroom all together. It is that single missing puzzle piece that completes the puzzle. I walk in and he is having the tile guy put the same stone that is on the floor onto the cap. Because that would get it done right then. Instead of in 2 weeks.

Did any of you ever watch Ally McBeal? She used to imagine these crazy hysterical images of her life and the audience was privy to the imagery. For example, once she was being "dumped" by a guy - the image was her in a huge Dumpster being dumped into the back of a dump truck. Hysterical. Another time she saw this really HAWT guy. The imagery was her with a 3 foot tongue lolling out of her mouth like a dog panting. Pretty funny. Well, imagine me looking at this Hubby who is building the house. I drop all of my files, my tape measure, my phone, everything. I run and leap on his chest like a large jungle cat, knocking him to the floor. Instead of ripping out his jugular I begin to furiously shake him as his head repeatedly hits the stone floor underneath him. I snarl and growl and yell through clenched teeth, "This is a Million dollar plus home!!! Wait for the F'ing onyx cap!!!!" Instead, I kept my cool - okay, maybe my eyes rolled back into my head momentarily- I tell him it is his call and I leave. This is only one example of a string of these sort of decisions being made by Hubby. The house is looking like a HUGE Million Dollar hodge podge. They hired me to do a job, but won't allow me to do my job. Now, I am no meek and mild mannered person. I am pretty straight forward with everyone. Including this guy. He doesn't hear. He says okay, then does what he wants to do regardless. AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

Okay, so, now you know where I have been for months and months. Why (in addition to family issues) I have no energy left for blogging. I am exhausted.

Please forgive me. I know I have been away and when I finally do surface, I rant on and on about work. Sorry.

Oh. Hubby is still alive and the wife and I, we're good. I feel for her. She has to deal with him every day. I deal with him only a couple of times a week. Count my blessings right? By the way, I do still like the guy, he is a good guy. I just think he is suffering from Buildingahousedon'tknowwhatthefuckiamdoingitis.

Sgt. Eddie Ryan

Could your parents afford to pay for your needed therapy - after a Traumatic Brain Injury - on $108.00 a month?

This post isn't intended to cast a poor light on the Doctors and Nuses who tend our wounded. This post is to help shed some light on something that is mostly kept in the dark. The aftercare and therapy that is not happening when Dr's hands are tied. The VA does what it can on the level of the Dr's and Nurses. How can we help change this? Below is the chart that shows how our men and women are compensated after they get out of the Military due to an injury related release. Did you know that they are releasing TBI (traumatic brain injuries) with little to ZERO follow up care/therapy. Then so many of them are only qualifying for 10% disability? The politicians need to step up and do something with the funding. Please, let your local and State Politicians know, this type of aftercare is unacceptable.

Disability Compensation
Contact your Veterans Service representative or VA Seamless Transition program representative to calculate your service-connected disability compensation. There are a number of factors that affect the amount of compensation you receive, i.e. injuries, number of dependents, years of service, etc. The charts below provide a sample calculation.
Compensation for Service Connected Disability (VA)
Monthly Rates of Compensation
Effective Dec. 1, 2004
10%........................................
Veteran Alone $108

With Spouse & Child $108
20%........................................
Veteran Alone $210

With Spouse & Child $210
30%........................................
Veteran Alone $324

With Spouse & Child $391
40%........................................
Veteran Alone $466

With Spouse & Child $555
50%........................................
Veteran Alone $663

With Spouse & Child $775
60%........................................
Veteran Alone $839

With Spouse & Child $973
70%........................................
Veteran Alone $1,056

With Spouse & Child $1212
80%........................................
Veteran Alone $1,227

With Spouse & Child $1406
90%........................................
Veteran Alone $1,380

With Spouse & Child $1581
100%......................................
Veteran Alone $2,299

With Spouse & Child $2523
* There are additional amounts of compensation available for veterans based on the type of injury sustained. Additionally, Marines whose service rated disabilities are rated at 30% or more may be entitled to additional compensation.VA Compensation Rate Table
Calculating Disability Retirement Pay

E-3 with over 3 years of Service and 40% Disability
E-5 with over 6 years of Service and 40% Disability
Two Methods - Select whichever is most favorable to you

Length of Service Method Basic Pay x 2.5% (0.025) x Years of service

$1641.00
x 2.5%
x 3
------------
$123.07/month


$2205.30
x 2.5%
x 6
------------
$330.79/month

Percent-disability method Basic-Pay x Percent Disability

$1641.00
x 40%
------------
$656.40/month


$2205.30
x 40%
------------
$882.12/month

Severance Pay = Base Pay X Yrs of Svc X 2
$9846.00
$26,463.60
Note: Figures calculated using average of "high-three" basic pay. Assumptions are that the Sgt was a Cpl in 2003 and Lcpl was a PFC in 2003. Each disability retirement will be accompanied by a line-of-duty investigation. If the disability is not due to your intentional misconduct or willful neglect, and if it was not incurred while AWOL, then you are entitled to disability severance pay in the amount of two month's basic pay per year of service to a maximum of twelve years.

I Have Been Cheating

Yes. I have been cheating and I am sorry.

I have been cheating on my posts. Craziness is exactly what it has been here for a while now. My J.O.B. is taking more time along with all of the social events, Tri's, etc going on - craziness. So, I have been shortchanging all of you on my posts. Sorry, but posting with lots of photos has been a quick way to let you all in on the goings ons around here. Cheating. I know. Sorry.

In addition, because of my short amount of time, I have been skimping on the comment love. I am still reading everyone's posts but I find myself clicking on the next because I am always so pressed for time. I am still stopping in to see everyone as I always have but have been skipping the comment love. Cheating. I know. Once again, I am sorry. Truly. Bear with me through my busy season and I'll be back in full swing.

This is a sample of what I do for a living. This home was a newly built home. The clients moved here from Chicago. They had no furniture at all for their home. So, I came in and created this -

This is a "during" shot. This client ordered the sofa and decided she loved the Tiger pattern so much, she wanted more. So, I painted the pattern onto the face of her kitchen bar.

And in her art "niche"

For those of you who have asked -There is a tiny peek into what I do for a living. I do it all. Custom furnishings, draperies, bedding, carpets, floors, faux finishes, you name it. Right now I am about to install a beautiful copper ceiling in a home that is being built. It will be so stunning. Stunning.

Right now, in my world, everyone loves me. They don't love me because I am charming and beautiful. Well...maybe that's it....yeah, it probably is, but in reality, they love me because I make their homes beautiful. Just in time for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Right. ( I am laughing very hard out loud right now)

If it was to be done before the Holidays, they should have started in July. Swear. Custom upholstery, drapes, bedding, it all takes time. These days, more time than before. You see, in the effort to meet Americans' desire for nice look for little price, everyone has gone overseas for their product. So, those fabrics that used to be milled in North and South Carolina no longer exist. The mills are all closed down and the fabrics are now coming from China. This means, lots and lots of wait time if the fabric isn't in stock. Well, no one ever picks a fabric that is in stock. Trust me. So, custom is defined as: Wait. Period. Please. Don't shoot the messenger.

Okay, enough of my bitch session. With all of that said, I am still insanely busy. I like it that way. My days are not so easy and they are very long more often than not. But, I really do like it this way. So, please forgive me if i cheat a little for a bit on my posts. Please?

We partied at the Bigun house this past weekend. It really was a fun filled evening. I felt like the Bride again. The house was full and I barely got to spend time with anyone person for more than 5 minutes at a time. ExcelMan and Green Eyed Lady joined in the festivities along with 20 other people. My life is so full of beautiful people. I truly have wonderful friends. TriFeist came over for a bit. It was so much fun to meet her. I feel guilty that I didn't spend more time learning about her. I have no doubt we'll see her again. Her Hubby was working so she was flying solo. I smell a dinner coming on...

In addition to work and regular home things I have been working on various projects in my home too. My walls have been painted and repainted more than once in more than one room. The Guest suite is almost done. I have to finish putting the bed together. I had the bed frame in there but now have a beautiful carved black poster head board and foot board to add. The delivery guys forgot to leave the rails, so the bed is not put up yet.

Finally finished painting the hall bath - it is metallic gold. LOVE it. It looks fabulous with the red curtains in there. In addition to that I redid our bedroom too. Bigun recovered the headboard a while ago and i finally put the new bedding on the bed. It's red, mingled with gold and bronze. The bedding. It looks so gorgeous with the red sofa in there. Stunning. I still have to finish the venetian plaster in there and the painting. It'll happen, just don't know when. I am also building some built-in bookcases in the office. The painting is done and the desk and credenza are in but the book cases are only about 1/3 of the way finished. I'll finish them in between putting the final layer of glaze on my Dining room walls. Are you seeing a trend here yet? Many projects, little time and millions of ideas... that's me. Oh. I work too. Cook often. Take care of the dogs, try to keep up with the house ( not always successfully either), work in laundry every now and then as well. Thank the Lord I don't have children too. I would be three stories up at the asylum. How you women with kids do it, I'll never know. My hat is off to you all.

Oh. I almost forgot. I read too. I read a lot. It's my get away. My sanctuary. Books. I love them. I love the way the ink smells on the pages when you crack that book for the first time. If I fall asleep with ink smudged fingers at night, I feel good. I just finished a couple of books. One in particular,

"In an Instant" . Bob and Lee Woodruff.

Editorial Reviews
Book Description

In one of the most anticipated books of the year, Lee Woodruff, along with her husband, Bob Woodruff, share their never-before-told story of romance, resilience, and survival following the tragedy that transformed their lives and gripped a nation.

In January 2006, the Woodruffs seemed to have it all–a happy marriage and four beautiful children. Lee was a public relations executive and Bob had just been named co-anchor of ABC’s World News Tonight. Then, while Bob was embedded with the military in Iraq, an improvised explosive device went off near the tank he was riding in. He and his cameraman, Doug Vogt, were hit, and Bob suffered a traumatic brain injury that nearly killed him.In an Instant is the frank and compelling account of how Bob and Lee’s lives came together, were blown apart, and then were miraculously put together again–and how they persevered, with grit but also with humor, through intense trauma and fear.

Here are Lee’s heartfelt memories of their courtship, their travels as Bob left a law practice behind and pursued his news career and Lee her freelance business, the glorious births of her children and the challenges of motherhood.Bob in turn recalls the moment he caught the journalism “bug” while covering Tiananmen Square for CBS News, his love of overseas assignments and his guilt about long separations from his family, and his pride at attaining the brass ring of television news–being chosen to fill the seat of the late Peter Jennings.

And, for the first time, the Woodruffs reveal the agonizing details of Bob’s terrible injuries and his remarkable recovery. We learn that Bob’s return home was not an end to the journey but the first step into a future they have learned not to fear but to be grateful for.In an Instant is much more than the dual memoir of love and courage. It is an important, wise, and inspiring guide to coping with tragedy–and an extraordinary drama of marriage, family, war, and nation.A percentage of the proceeds from this book will be donated to the Bob Woodruff Family Fund for Traumatic Brain Injury.

Please read this book. It brings to light a serious issue facing our nation, it's soldiers, it's families. People may not agree on the war in Iraq and they may not agree with why we are there or the policies of our leaders. It doesn't matter. Our men and women are still there. Support them. Supporting our soldiers is what matters. Freedom isn't free and the men and women who are there, in Iraq, they know this. Does your personal freedom depend on the war in Iraq? I don't know. I won't presume to guess either. What I do know is that a tyrant who murdered his people and tortured many more is now gone. Our men and women are there to help the ones left behind in the debris.They are there to help them put their lives back together. To gain their freedom. The daily struggles they face, both our soldiers and Iraq's citizens, will be a long and hard road.

I did not want to turn this into a "heavy" post, but I am compelled to say this-

Our men and women who are returning home with missing limbs, post traumatic stress disorders, brain injuries, and more, they need our help. They need OUR help. What can you do?

Sgt. Gonzalez from Alpha Company of 1/38 Infantry Regiment patrols Baqubah, Iraq, on Oct. 3.
ALEXANDER NEMENOV / AFP VIA GETTY IMAGES

Good Manners

One of our favorite movies in the Bigun household is "Blast From The Past". It stars Brendan Fraser, Alicia Silverstone, Christopher Walken, Sissy Spacek and Dave Foley. GREAT MOVIE. To give you a little background, Brendan Fraser's character, Adam, is extremely polite. So much so that little jokes are made and insinuated about his impeccable manners. Yet in his eternal good nature the character simply smiles and in return has something very polite to say that basically shuts down whoever is putting him down. He maintains his good nature and good manners. There is a line in the movie where another character is quoting Adam to Eve (Silverstone's character). He says "...Good manners is how we show others that we respect them." (I have paraphrased a little) That line has stuck with me.




I am by no means comparing myself to the character of Adam. I am more like the character played by Silverstone. I try to be polite but sometimes my cynicism kicks in or I allow someone else's bad manners to get my goat so to speak. No, I am not making excuses. That is how I am I can only wish I could be more like "Adam". Regardless, I do always try to be polite. I try to express my enthusiasm for other's accomplishments with encouragement and congratulations. My enthusiasm is genuine and my congratulations are always heartfelt. Both are always delivered with a genuine smile and a warm heart. I believe with every fiber in my being that politeness and interest in others should be genuine.

When Bigun started blogging about his journey as a triathlete he suggested that I try blogging with him. He thought I would really enjoy being a part of this community. He was right. I have enjoyed it. At first I was apprehensive because I am not a triathlete myself. Bigun's opinion was that I didn't need to be a triathlete to become a part of this online community because I live the life of a Triathlete Spouse. The word he used was "Ironwidow". Honestly, I took offense to the term. I took offense because "Ironwidow" was not at all the way I saw myself. Bigun's triathlons are as important to me as they are to him. When he doesn't train, as he has planned, I ask why. I don't complain about all of the wet training clothes hanging over the shower glass or laying in a pile on the laundry room floor or draped over the chairs out on the pool deck. I don't complain about the hours spent training. I don't complain about the stinkiness of his gear. To me, it is all a part of what he does. He trains. I am so proud of him. Making the sort of commitment he has made is not easy.Most who are reading this know and understand what a HUGE life change it is when you become a TriAthlete.

Most of you already know that Bigun started out at over 300lbs when he decided to change his life and his health. That sort of decision deserves every ounce of support I can offer. That is why I don't miss a race. His commitment is why I get up at 3:30 in the morning on race day to drive to a race. That is why I come armed with my camera and cowbells. Bigun's commitment to being a triathlete is sound and true. I love him, and I love who he is. Maybe now you understand why I don't consider myself an Ironwidow but an Iron Wife.

Bigun opened this door to the Tri blog community and because we are together in what we do in this life, he brought me along. I am so happy he did. We have found such kind and interesting people here. I would list everyone but my fear would be I would absent minded-ly leave someone out. Most of you will find yourselves in the right margin of my blog. There are still a couple of new folks I want to add, I visit their blogs but usually go through Bigun's or another blogger's site to get to them. I don't always comment on the blogs I read because sometimes they are only about their training or their nutrition. I don't want them to think I am butting in, but my heart cheers for them nonetheless. I read their posts because I am genuinely interested in how their daily journey in the world of Tris is going. However, when I read a post that writes about things I can relate to or if someone just needs a kind word or maybe they need to hear that what they are doing is worthwhile and worthy, I comment. I leave a comment because it is heartfelt and genuine. Reading these blogs, your blog, is more than reading just words on a page. Your posts are from your hearts and your souls. Your lives. You have opened the door to who you are and that deserves respect. When a person opens their lives to others the way this community has, that person deserves the same compassion you would offer the friend you see every day. Because, you must understand, we do see each other almost every day.

This is where Good Manners comes in to play. Bear in mind, I do NOT expect a reply from every comment I leave on another's post. Sometimes a comment is my polite way of saying "good job" or "congratulations" or "wow" no reply is needed. When a fellow blogger does reply back, I enjoy it. I enjoy knowing that the few minutes I took to read about their life that day meant something to them. It's like getting a "Thank You" note in the mail. Other times, I'll leave a comment expecting a reply because of the nature of the comment. Maybe it's about an upcoming race or something else going on and I leave a question. I believe that most of you out there feel the same way I do. It's a matter of Good Manners.

Yes, all of us lead very busy lives. I have not read a single blog out there that has led me to think otherwise. Some times are even busier than others. Most of us still try to post a little something to let the others know we are still out there. Bigun and I have had a house full of visitors since March. Tack that on top of work, training, chores, friends, triathlons and family, it's been busy. My posts are sometimes lacking when it's crazy around here. Sorry. I have never really cared for mediocre. Sometimes, that's all I have left at the end of the day. My feeling is, no one is too busy to be polite. No one is ever too busy to show respect and good manners to those who take the time out of their busy day to show another that they are genuinely interested in the coming events of their lives. What ever happened to Good Manners? 98% of the blogger community are kind, compassionate, good hearted people that I am now fortunate enough to share a friendship with.

When the Woodlands 101, Chicago and IMCdA arrive, some of those friendships will be cemented even more so. I am excited because I feel that I already know most of you, most of those I don't yet "know", I am looking forward to getting to know better. I am looking forward to meeting the spouses of the bloggers as much as I am looking forward to meeting the blogger themselves. Bigun is as excited about it as I am. We have talked about how fortunate our lives are to include you.

One or two of the bloggers who hang out with this community, (maybe they aren't even reading this post) are sorely lacking in Good Manners. After extending my heartfelt enthusiasm, congratulations and genuine interest to you and your efforts in the Tri world, in life- a couple of bloggers don't even have the common courtesy to reply when asked a question. Because we all have our "Bad Days" and our moments of unintended hurtfulness, I have always tried to give other's the benefit of the doubt. For a little while. Until their actions or behaviour comes across as a pattern or character trait that is obviously rude and unkind. There is no excuse for being unkind or hurtful to anyone who is attempting to extend their hand in an act of friendship. There is no excuse for blatant rudeness or tearing someone else down because you need to feel better about yourself. There is no excuse for writing posts tearing down someone else's good heart and true emotions. Some of you hide behind "Anonymous" comments (cowardice) and that is even more despicable than the rudeness. Shame on you. Perhaps I am bringing myself down to your level, but I think that sometimes things need to be said out loud instead of being ignored, hoping it will stop. When you ignore Little Tyrants, they never go away, they simply grow bigger because no one is willing to put a stop to their behaviour. I wish I could be as eloquent and as gracious as Momo was when she addressed a disgusting and abusive attack from an Anonymous contributor.

For those of you who I am fortunate enough to share my laughs, my joy, my enthusiasm and sometimes my sentimentality, please forgive me. My tolerance for bullies and rude people (see the 1st anon comment) lasts for a little while. After a bit though, I find it inexcusable and feel compelled to inform the trespasser of their abusiveness with the hope that they simply didn't realise how rude they were being and will make a concerted effort to change their behaviour. (although in the example I have shown, they definitely know how rude they are, that's why they hide behind "Anonymous")

Please bear in mind, this post is NOT intended for anyone with whom I converse with on a regular basis (if you are in the right margin) lol. I cannot wait for the upcoming races so that I can see your faces and already know the wonderful person behind the smiling eyes. Thanks for reading.


Di