The Freedom To Run

Getting lost in our thoughts and ideas of what we expect from ourselves, from others, (from life) can cause us to doubt ourselves. Don't doubt yourself, feel content in the knowledge that you are preparing yourself for the next step in realizing your true potential in this life.

“we all begin the process before we are ready, before we are strong enough, before we know enough; we begin a dialogue with thoughts and feelings that both tickle and thunder within us. We respond before we know how to speak the language, before we know all the answers, and before we know exactly to whom we are speaking.”
― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

A Muse Me

Sometimes, the lyrics of a song loop over and over again in your brain....no matter what you do you can't stop the words from echoing through your mind. Today's worm...

(Mu-mu-mu-mad-mad-mad)  

I... I can't get this memories out of my mind. 

And some kind of Madness, 

Has started to evolve, mmn. 

And I... I tried so hard to let you go. 

But some kind of Madness, 

Is swallowing me whole, yeh. 

I have finally seen the light. 

And I... have finally realized. 

What you mean... 

And now, I need to know if it's real love. 

Or is it just Madness, 

Keeping us afloat, mmm. 

And when I look back, at all the crazy fights we have, 

Like some kind of M-m-madness, 

Was taking control, yeh. 

And now I have finally seen the light, 

And I... have finally realized, 

What you need, mmm. 

(Mu-mu-mu-mad-mad-mad)  

And now I have finally seen the end, 

(I have seen the end) 

And I'm... I'm expecting you to care, 

(Expecting you to care) 

And I... have finally seen the light, 

(Have finally seen the light) 

And I... have finally realized, 

(Realized) 

(I NEED TO LOVE)  

Capture me, 

Trust in your dream, 

Come on and rescue me. 

Yes, I know, I can't move on, 

Baby, you're too head-strong. 

Our love is... 

(Mu-mu-mu-mad-mad-mad)

Completely and utterly maddening.....This is Madness - here.

Uh Huh

Random things in my life that make my heart happy...

Smile with me, laugh with me ... 

Mishie yawning

Martinis

My silly friends

My handsome Brisco

My beautiful city

The Moya

This lady. 

She's not selling anything or trying to convince you of anything. She simply is sharing her message. She made me smile.

5:00. In any time zone

Mishie peeking at me from behind the curtain

This lady is a sign spinner. Every day for at least the last two years, she stands on the corner and dances for everyone. She makes my heart smile. I love how brave she is!

Fresh made, Turkish baklava

someecards. Fucking awesome.

Kayaking

Cock.

a doodle do

Red

Shoes

This

Did I say Cock?

The Inferno

Some days, I really should stay home. Not so much to make myself feel better or because I'm not up for the day. It's more for other people's protection. There are days in which I think I need to protect others from me and my impatience. Yesterday, I nearly took some one's head off and they did nothing whatsoever to deserve it. Of course, I apologized almost instantly. They were faultless in my lashing out.

My hormones are going NUTS these days and I never know if I'm going to have a good day or a day filled with near heat stroke flashes of inferno-like body temps. It feels like my brain is going to explode. It passes almost as quickly as it arrives but man, if anyone tries to talk to me, or reason with me, during one of my near Spontaneous Human Combustion moments look out!!!

This shit sucks. Still, I recognize when these days are about to occur but I try to move forward anyway. For me, there are moments that staying civil is nearly impossible. It is like I'm watching someone else living in my body! I can sense what is about to happen but I am powerless to stop it. WTF?! Thankfully, the crazy bitch moments are not frequent and I can usually get them under control but it sure would be nice if I could lasso them in before the ugly is rearing it's spiny head.


So, if you happen to pass me on the street or bump into me in the store and my eyes look glazed, and my skin is moist with tiny droplets of sweat, run. Run away as fast as you can, you don't want to get caught up in my fury and end up like the people in Firestarter after Drew Barrymore finished frying them to death. Although, I will apologize after, if you're still breathing.


Love ya. Mean it.

I Meant To Do That....Honest....

 Earlier this evening, I was reading a book on public speaking. It is actually very interesting and it had my full attention. Hard to believe right? Even though I am reading, I can still hear Moya moving around on the chair next to me. When I had looked up a few minutes before, she had her Kong toy and was diligently trying to get one of her treats out of the toy. Kong treats are the best puppy sitters in the world. When she has her snout in one of those things, she doesn't get into anything else. If you have a dog in your house and you don't use a kong as a puppy entertainer, you should.

Back to my story, I'm reading, Moya is occupying herself with her kong. Out of the corner of my eye I see the kong go up in the air, I look up and realise she has just tossed it up and had planned to catch it in her mouth on its way back down. She sort of tossed it high and behind her head....Keep in mind, she is laying in the chair- backwards. As she rolls back and stretches her neck out to try and catch the kong, she loses her balance and her whole body rolls over. Right over the edge of the chair onto the floor. THUD! She was so startled she just laid there. All four paws in the air, head facing in my direction, tilted back, looking at me with that look of, "What the hell just happened?!" Being the horrific mother I am, as I reached to grab her and lift her up, I burst into tears with laughter. She still had that dumbfounded look on her face and wasn't moving. Once she heard me laughing, she was startled out of the trance and tried to jump up. When she got up, with my help, she looked at me as if to say, "Yeah, I meant to do that. Hey, have you seen my kong?" The next three minutes were spent with me laughing out loud and Moya trying to use her paw to coax the kong out from under the chair (it had rolled there when it landed on the floor, seconds before she did).

Now, Moya is laying back in the chair, facing the correct way and staring at me as if I somehow caused her to fall out of the chair when she wasn't looking. She isn't going to take her eyes off of me just incase I do it again. I'm still laughing......I know, I know, I am a terrible human. I'm sorry Moya. xoxo

Dreams Are Made of....

Dreams are made of balmy, winter evenings watching the sun set over the water. Beautiful.

Davis Island charms you with it's beauty.

The quiet has settled in.

Love Anyway

Today I was reminded of a poem that I hadn't read in years. The author is Kent Keith, and the title is "The Paradoxical Commandments". Mother Theresa had a copy of this pinned to her bulletin board. Here it is, I hope you enjoy this reflection....

The Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. 

Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. 

Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies. 

Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. 

Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. 

Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men with the smallest minds. 

Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs, but follow only top dogs. 

Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. 

Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. 

Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. 

Give the world the best you have anyway.

Kent Keith, 1968

Love Anyway.

Me, Always.