Live Your Story!

"I hope you will go out and let stories happen to you, and that you will work them, water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom." Clarissa Pinkola Estes

I will stand there, smiling, with my feet planted firmly on the earth, arms stretched open wide, and my head thrust back, feeling the joy of life as it washes over me.

Any pain I feel, will be life reminding me that sometimes, what my heart desires is not what is meant to be.

Diana Taylor

The Freedom To Run

Getting lost in our thoughts and ideas of what we expect from ourselves, from others, (from life) can cause us to doubt ourselves. Don't doubt yourself, feel content in the knowledge that you are preparing yourself for the next step in realizing your true potential in this life.

“we all begin the process before we are ready, before we are strong enough, before we know enough; we begin a dialogue with thoughts and feelings that both tickle and thunder within us. We respond before we know how to speak the language, before we know all the answers, and before we know exactly to whom we are speaking.”
― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

A Muse Me

Sometimes, the lyrics of a song loop over and over again in your brain....no matter what you do you can't stop the words from echoing through your mind. Today's worm...

(Mu-mu-mu-mad-mad-mad)  

I... I can't get this memories out of my mind. 

And some kind of Madness, 

Has started to evolve, mmn. 

And I... I tried so hard to let you go. 

But some kind of Madness, 

Is swallowing me whole, yeh. 

I have finally seen the light. 

And I... have finally realized. 

What you mean... 

And now, I need to know if it's real love. 

Or is it just Madness, 

Keeping us afloat, mmm. 

And when I look back, at all the crazy fights we have, 

Like some kind of M-m-madness, 

Was taking control, yeh. 

And now I have finally seen the light, 

And I... have finally realized, 

What you need, mmm. 

(Mu-mu-mu-mad-mad-mad)  

And now I have finally seen the end, 

(I have seen the end) 

And I'm... I'm expecting you to care, 

(Expecting you to care) 

And I... have finally seen the light, 

(Have finally seen the light) 

And I... have finally realized, 

(Realized) 

(I NEED TO LOVE)  

Capture me, 

Trust in your dream, 

Come on and rescue me. 

Yes, I know, I can't move on, 

Baby, you're too head-strong. 

Our love is... 

(Mu-mu-mu-mad-mad-mad)

Completely and utterly maddening.....This is Madness - here.

Uh Huh

Random things in my life that make my heart happy...

Smile with me, laugh with me ... 

Mishie yawning

Martinis

My silly friends

My handsome Brisco

My beautiful city

The Moya

This lady. 

She's not selling anything or trying to convince you of anything. She simply is sharing her message. She made me smile.

5:00. In any time zone

Mishie peeking at me from behind the curtain

This lady is a sign spinner. Every day for at least the last two years, she stands on the corner and dances for everyone. She makes my heart smile. I love how brave she is!

Fresh made, Turkish baklava

someecards. Fucking awesome.

Kayaking

Cock.

a doodle do

Red

Shoes

This

Did I say Cock?

The Inferno

Some days, I really should stay home. Not so much to make myself feel better or because I'm not up for the day. It's more for other people's protection. There are days in which I think I need to protect others from me and my impatience. Yesterday, I nearly took some one's head off and they did nothing whatsoever to deserve it. Of course, I apologized almost instantly. They were faultless in my lashing out.

My hormones are going NUTS these days and I never know if I'm going to have a good day or a day filled with near heat stroke flashes of inferno-like body temps. It feels like my brain is going to explode. It passes almost as quickly as it arrives but man, if anyone tries to talk to me, or reason with me, during one of my near Spontaneous Human Combustion moments look out!!!

This shit sucks. Still, I recognize when these days are about to occur but I try to move forward anyway. For me, there are moments that staying civil is nearly impossible. It is like I'm watching someone else living in my body! I can sense what is about to happen but I am powerless to stop it. WTF?! Thankfully, the crazy bitch moments are not frequent and I can usually get them under control but it sure would be nice if I could lasso them in before the ugly is rearing it's spiny head.


So, if you happen to pass me on the street or bump into me in the store and my eyes look glazed, and my skin is moist with tiny droplets of sweat, run. Run away as fast as you can, you don't want to get caught up in my fury and end up like the people in Firestarter after Drew Barrymore finished frying them to death. Although, I will apologize after, if you're still breathing.


Love ya. Mean it.

I Meant To Do That....Honest....

 Earlier this evening, I was reading a book on public speaking. It is actually very interesting and it had my full attention. Hard to believe right? Even though I am reading, I can still hear Moya moving around on the chair next to me. When I had looked up a few minutes before, she had her Kong toy and was diligently trying to get one of her treats out of the toy. Kong treats are the best puppy sitters in the world. When she has her snout in one of those things, she doesn't get into anything else. If you have a dog in your house and you don't use a kong as a puppy entertainer, you should.

Back to my story, I'm reading, Moya is occupying herself with her kong. Out of the corner of my eye I see the kong go up in the air, I look up and realise she has just tossed it up and had planned to catch it in her mouth on its way back down. She sort of tossed it high and behind her head....Keep in mind, she is laying in the chair- backwards. As she rolls back and stretches her neck out to try and catch the kong, she loses her balance and her whole body rolls over. Right over the edge of the chair onto the floor. THUD! She was so startled she just laid there. All four paws in the air, head facing in my direction, tilted back, looking at me with that look of, "What the hell just happened?!" Being the horrific mother I am, as I reached to grab her and lift her up, I burst into tears with laughter. She still had that dumbfounded look on her face and wasn't moving. Once she heard me laughing, she was startled out of the trance and tried to jump up. When she got up, with my help, she looked at me as if to say, "Yeah, I meant to do that. Hey, have you seen my kong?" The next three minutes were spent with me laughing out loud and Moya trying to use her paw to coax the kong out from under the chair (it had rolled there when it landed on the floor, seconds before she did).

Now, Moya is laying back in the chair, facing the correct way and staring at me as if I somehow caused her to fall out of the chair when she wasn't looking. She isn't going to take her eyes off of me just incase I do it again. I'm still laughing......I know, I know, I am a terrible human. I'm sorry Moya. xoxo

Dreams Are Made of....

Dreams are made of balmy, winter evenings watching the sun set over the water. Beautiful.

Davis Island charms you with it's beauty.

The quiet has settled in.

Love Anyway

Today I was reminded of a poem that I hadn't read in years. The author is Kent Keith, and the title is "The Paradoxical Commandments". Mother Theresa had a copy of this pinned to her bulletin board. Here it is, I hope you enjoy this reflection....

The Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. 

Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. 

Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies. 

Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. 

Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. 

Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men with the smallest minds. 

Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs, but follow only top dogs. 

Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. 

Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. 

Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. 

Give the world the best you have anyway.

Kent Keith, 1968

Love Anyway.

Me, Always.

Me (& You) Against The World

Yesterday, I was busy rehearsing a speech I had to give later in the afternoon. My phone chimed, so I looked at it and there was a little red "1" over my chat symbol. Someone had sent me a text. When I opened it and saw who it was from, I smiled. Before I even read the message, I smiled. I love this girl and it warms my heart to no end when I hear from her because we are indeed friends. Without further ado, I'd like to share with you what she sent to me....


"I send messages to people in the am and I liked this one and thought about you and me and how we are always trying to grow so I thought I'd include you today!

good morning, di, another week, another monday!! pulling out the gangsta wisdom for you today...  Tupac Shakur once (in)famously said, 'You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened...or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on. how about we agree to do just that today, shall we?' xoxo!"




I love that my friends know who I am and that they share their thoughts so openly with me. It makes me feel privileged. She is right and Tupac was right, sometimes, you just have to move the fuck on.

You've Got Mail!

You've Got Mail, some of you will remember when checking your email meant you heard a happy sounding voice announcing to you that you had email waiting to be read. It used to make me feel happy. I couldn't wait to open up my email. It was akin to opening presents from under the tree on Christmas morning.





What? Don't judge me, it did feel that way!


Admit it, you know I speak the truth here. Nowadays, with Social Media being the main line of communication, the joy of email waiting to be read has dissipated into dread rather than excitement. Dread because you know few, probably none of the messages, are from anyone you care to hear from. Email has turned into a weigh station for junk mail, solicitations, advertisements, and sale announcements from your favorite stores. Those are the emails I tend to get any way and, honestly, I dread them. My inclination is to delete 99% of them without bothering to opening them. True story. However, I still love getting emails from my friends, which seldom (if ever) arrive. It is the next best thing to getting a letter in the mail. Letters in the mail are still at the top of my list for one of life's wonderful "little things" that are "big things".

So! I am taking back my email!!!! My mission is to begin sending out a few emails a week and make it through my contact list to say, "Hello, I miss you, what's up?" It may take more time than reading everyone's 'at-a-glance' FB posts but I don't care. Friendships have always been very personal for me, not superficial or temporary.

I still have my FB active but I have come to dread the long lists of memes on my home page, although most are funny and often make me chuckle, I miss the personal connection with people. If you want to stay in touch, personal message me on FB with your email address or phone number (PM's from FB go to my email.... haha, so now I know I'm getting an email I care to open), or leave a comment on my blog and I will make it a point to stay in touch with you. I know, email is still electronic but I personally, feel more connected and I am looking forward to being excited again about that phrase "You've Got Mail". 

Well, Hello My Freud.

If we allow it to happen, our childhood can leave us looking like mangled train wrecks in a ditch. Ultimately, you get to decide how you want things to go, not your parents, not those who abused you, not your siblings, you. You get to choose which paths to follow through your life.







Sure, the crap that happens in childhood can scar us. Certainly, I can attest to this. It leaves us with memories that are often difficult to get past. However, the bigger problem isn't the memories you battle to keep at bay. The bigger issue is how you allow the memories to change you. You can allow them to create change for the positive or for the negative. You choose. No one will ever be able to make THAT choice for you.



So yes, Freud was definitely on to something, but I prefer to use Carl Rogers theory. Rogers believed that we all possess what we need to heal ourselves. So, next time something happens and you want to blame it on your past (or another person), step back, look in the mirror and ask your self, "Did I choose to use my power to help myself?"

Imagine what you could do with your life if you simply empowered yourself. Just imagine. The possibilities are endless!

Change Your Mind

Love the life you live............
Is it easier said than done? Maybe. Maybe not. You decide.

My life isn't perfect, far from it. This glaringly obvious lack of perfection is something I recognize, and quite frankly, don't ever expect to achieve. The difference for me is that I choose to be happy, sans perfection. Hell, maybe I choose to be happy because I think that perfection would be rather boring. Resolute and uninteresting? No - perfection wouldn't suit me.

What I do have is the ability to change my mind. If you don't like your life, change your mind. I've said this over and over again throughout the years. Sometimes I forget to listen to my own words but when I remember, life improves significantly.

So, take my advice here, change your mind.

Now, having absolutely nothing to do with what inspired me to begin this post, I'm going to share these with you simply because they make me happy. *wink*

This picture always makes me laugh. And Laugh. And laugh. 

This always makes me smile....my sweet boy is getting ready to leap into my arms. I actually caught him a few seconds into the jump.

The sunset reminds me of how every single day brings us beauty. It is up to us to see it.

There is Beauty everywhere, you simply have to choose to see it